"you May Be Country If"

[julieburger]

In New York or LA I would bet you could make millions. "Pappy Doggie Dentist to the Stars and nutcases".

[sheriobailey]

Your Washer doubles as a bath tub...

[norris]

An Old Farmer's Advice


Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong
..and watch out where you're steppin.
Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with,
watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

[MinelabMan]

You had summer jobs picking tomatoes and getting paid 15 cents a bushel.

You remember sucking the nectar from honeysuckle and stopping along your jaunts to eat berries right off the bushes.

You actually picked Polk and Dandelion to eat (I liked Dandelion but not crazy about Polk).

You'd grab a handful of Willow tree branches to swing from like Tarzan.

You had to tell visitors not to park under the Mulberry tree (for their own good).

Treasure hunting was finding an arrowhead or a nest of garter snakes when digging.

You had burn barrels for trash that would burn.

You spent all day in the woods, (always with my best friend, a yellow lab and alot of times with my human friends) and always getting checked for ticks when you got home, but never heard of Lyme disease.

You built forts and treehouses in the woods.

You went to the swimming hole by the covered bridge. Somebody was always there on hot days.

You made dams in the creek.

At Easter time your folks would buy you dyed baby ducks and chicks and they would actually grow up and attack your ankles when you went outside.

Everyone knew that the Christmas holiday was a celebration of Christ's birth, first, and secondly to get and give presents.

You dreaded having to pick your own switch from the lilac bush or "waiting until your father got home"

You ate most of your meals at home with the family.

[norris]

Hey Minelabman;
I remember every one of those well, especially the one about the switch. Those things would sure wrap around your legs if you were wearing short britches.
Next time you have a mess of polk, mix them about 1/2 & 1/2 with turnip greens. That's the way my Mother used to fix them. They're really good that way, and not so bitter.

[MinelabMan]

Hey Norris, that switch one was murder, picking your own switch was as bad as, if not worse than what was coming, but it made me a better person I'm sure.

I doubt that I'll ever have polk again, even though I'd probably like it now, my mom's in a nursing home and I don't know anyone else that makes it. I don't even know if I could pick it out anymore. I did love those dandelion sandwiches though, simmer dandelions and onions in a pan and put between toast. That's eating!

[UnEarthed72]

"you May Be Country If" ...you have a total of three teeth.....one in your mouth....and two in your pocket

[pris]

If you know the smell of a tobacco barn!

If your parents had to have your gravel road graded every year to remove all the ruts and potholes.

If you ever had to row a boat to catch the bus in the mornin' (we lived in the bottoms and when the water was up, it was the only way!)

[creekrat]

is a smell you dont forget.grannys hen house,had a smell of it own too ...lol..creek

[BukkDigger]

.. Your parents met at a family reunion. ...