New Country Thread

[ObMiT]

A Hillbilly gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells him he must move to coach because he doesn't have a first class ticket. The hilbilly replies, "I'm not movin' and you can't make me."

The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the man to move to the back and he says again "I'm not movin' and you can't make me." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the hilbilly and whispers in his ear. He immediately gets up and goes to his seat in the coach section.

The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get him to move.

The copilot replies, "I told him the front half of the airplane wasn't going to New York".

[sarge1stone]

A sign on pasture fence in England "Don't cross this field unless you can do it in 9.8 seconds. The bull can do it in 10"

[rlemp]

Miss Pollyhack, working at a Savings & Loan company has a Frog at here desk asking for a loan. "What do you have for collateral"? asks Pollyhack. "Only this small figurine..." says the frog. "I will have to ask my manager..." says Pollyhack...She wanders off and tells her manager that all the frog can offer for collateral on a loan is a figurine...the Manager states..."It's a Nicknack Pollyhack...give the Frog a loan!"

rlemp

[TwoDogsBob]

Was over visiting a friend of mine who runs a Resort here.. Asked him how the summer had gone and he said pretty good except there was a bear that was hanging around one of the campgrounds trying to steal food from the tourists, got to be kind of a pest..
One woman even complained to the Rangers that she had been attacked, though showing no signs of being worse for wear, and wanted the bear hunted down and killed.
When questioned a little more they found out that the woman was trying to fend off the bear, who had just wandered into her camp, by using her ice chest..

[EPC Guy]

Originally Posted by rlemp

Miss Pollyhack, working at a Savings & Loan company has a Frog at here desk asking for a loan. "What do you have for collateral"? asks Pollyhack. "Only this small figurine..." says the frog. "I will have to ask my manager..." says Pollyhack...She wanders off and tells her manager that all the frog can offer for collateral on a loan is a figurine...the Manager states..."It's a Nicknack Pollyhack...give the Frog a loan!"

rlemp

Oh - that's bad!!

[bbqcook]

'Need help? call Jesus.'
1-800-005-3787



Out of curiosity I called the number...

A Mexican showed up with a Tow Truck!

[sarge1stone]

bbqcook, thats funny

[Buster]

Here is one....Buster.....

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."

[bbqcook]

Good one Buster

[anne]

Nice one Buster