New Country Thread

[anne]

Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.

Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse says, 'Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it, but here's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.


Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.


Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure enough, here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.


And Bill comes back to work. But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, 'He's dead.'


Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in.''
‘No’, says the nurse, 'Some dopey b@stard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.'

[Buster]

Good one Anne......Buster........

[Buster]

Another one...........Buster......


A husband and wife are shopping in WalMart when the man picks up a case of Budweiser and puts them into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?'asks his wife.

'They're on sale, only $15 for 24 cans,' he says.

'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping...

A few aisles later the woman picks up a $30 jar of face cream and sticks it into the shopping cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man,

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says.

The man replies........'So does 24 cans of Budweiser, and it's half the price!!!'

[anne]

[homefire]

What a Hooooooot! Thanx Buster! That one got me smacked when I read it the wife!

[bdahunter]

A man passed out on the beach in Miami for four hours, and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to the front of his legs above his knees.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs..

BDA

[Buster]

[BukkDigger]

Those r gettin good. Love the bud and the viagra entries

[anne]

Where did the White Man go Wrong

Indian Chief Two Eagles, was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, Clean Water; women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then, the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that.

[homefire]

Man! You people are coming up with some good ones!