New Country Thread

[homefire]

Oh God!!!!!

I could end up that way!

[Buster]

One more...Buster.........

The Barber

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About two hours." The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About three hours." The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."
A little while later Bill returned to the shop. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill said, "Your house."

[homefire]

Not Right! I think that happened to me.

[PAPPY]

When I was a kid...We HAD Dirt Roads...Maybe we need some more !

Dirt Roads

[anne]

I agree Pappy, love the poem

[bdahunter]

True Words, Pappy! I learned a lot on dirt roads and most of it was good. Nothing like walking down the dirt road from my Gramps farm and catching those big flying grass hoppers to put on our fish hooks. All you needed to fish back then was a sapling, a couple of fence staples and 50 feet of fishing line. The bait was caught along the dirt road to the fishing hole.
When it got hot you just peeled off and jumped in.

Cheers,

[wingnut]

A fella walked into a hardware store. He was looking at new axes when the clerk walked over. The clerk said he could cut down a hundred trees a day if he got the latest chainsaw the store sold. The fella got all excited and said "I'll take it!" Well a few days later he came back in to the store with the chainsaw. He told the clerk he wanted his money back. He could only cut down about 10 trees a day with the saw. The clerk took the saw and looked it all over. He checked the spark plug wire. He checked the fuel level. Then he gave the starter rope a yank and it fired right up. The startled fella asked, "Whats that noise?"

[Buster]

Oh Yes.......good one....Buster........

[bdahunter]

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.


At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?
The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

[Buster]

Oh yes....That is a classic...Good one BDA....