New Country Thread

[Buster]

Had to add this...Buster......




Keep it interesting

>> Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make
their
>> days interesting.
>> Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and
went
>> into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came
out,
>> there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
>> I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He
>> ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
>> I called him a XXXXXXX. He glared at me and started writing another
>> ticket for having worn tires
>>
>> So Carole called him a XXXXXXX. He finished the second ticket and
put
>> it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third
>> ticket.
>> This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more
>> tickets
>> he wrote.
>>
>> Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have
a
>> little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our
age.

[anne]

Your a BAD boy Buster

[SandSkimmer]

tsk tsk tsk... such behavior for senior citizens...

jT

[Buster]

I didn't say that I did that...I might have if I thought of it..Maybe next time...Buster.....

[Docs]

Two country pastors who love to fish, had a city pastor friend come to visit.
They're sitting just off shore, and the fish aren't biting, so they decide to fish deeper water.
One pastor says I need to relieve myself first. He stands up, steps out, walks to shore and walks back. The second pastor says and does the same thing.
The city pastor, amazed at their faith, steps out of the boat and disappears.
One pastor ask the other, do you think we should have shown him where the rocks were?

[EPC Guy]

Moses, Jesus and a distinguished older man were playing golf one afternoon. Moses tees up his ball, takes a mighty swing and promptly hooks it into the water hazard. He then walks to the water, lifts his club into the air - parts the water and hits his second shot onto the green.

Jesus tees up, hooks HIS shot toward the same water hazard - only HIS ball bounces two or three times and comes to a rest on top of the water. Jesus calmly strolls over and walks on top of the water to his ball and hits his second shot onto the green.

The last gentleman hooks HIS shot toward the same water hazard...but before the ball can hit the water, a fish jumps out of the lake and swallows the ball. Before the fish can submerge, a giant eagle swoops out of the sky and grabs the fish and flys off. As the eagle flys over the green he loses his grip on the fish and drops it onto the green where the impact causes the ball to pop out of the fish's mouth and it rolls into the cup for a hole in one!

As Moses walks away shaking his head, Jesus looks at the distinguished gentleman and says: "No one likes a show-off, Dad."

[bdahunter]

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse! I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA test s on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through a divorce is bad enough without being a murder suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

[anne]

[Buster]

Good ones...Buster.....

[Buster]

One more for today...Buster....

Deaf Book-Keeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of
ten
million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the
job
the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear
anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing
ten
million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The
Godfather tells the lawyer "Ask him where the ten million bucks he
embezzled
from me is. The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple
and
says, "Ask him again!"


The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell
him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the bxxxx's to pull the
trigger."