The Great Red Skelton

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in

California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....

but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it.........this is the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word...... just clean and simple fun

[l38ranger]

that is a good one boobie

[JoAnne]

Just loved to watch him on TV. He was so talented and funny.

[ECACE]

I tried the last one 'Dust' with my wife...she didn't find it quite as funny as I did.
Then she made me diner and smiled and said 'Eat this'...I woke up the next day, but the whole time I ate it, I wondered if I would!

Very Funny.

Eric

[rip]

Good one Boobie !

[RON(PA)]

Very funny Boobie. I love them.

[RON(PA)]

very funny. I like this.