"you May Be Country If"

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pris

Active Member
You're country if

You open your freezer and aren't fazed to see an unplucked goose waitin' for the taxadermist!

You know that venison meatloaf is from heaven.

You're the one in charge of crawlin' under the house to turn the taters over and bring a bag upstairs for the tater box.

You burn your trash in a trash barrel and only haul that off once it's rustin' in on itself.

You know that a cornfield is the hottest place on the planet.

Goin' to a concert means goin' to your aunt's house for a family hoe down!
 
B

boobieinPa

Guest
Wife Confronts Hubby About Mistress


A husband and wife were having a fine dining
experience at their exclusive country club when this stunning young
woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says
she'll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

"Well that's the last straw," says the wife.

"I've had enough, I want a divorce. I am going to hire the
most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but
remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more wintering in
Key West, or the Caribbean, no more summers in Tuscany, no more
Cadillac STS in the garage, and no more country club, and we'll
have to sell the 26-room house and move to two smaller homes, but
the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous
young woman on his arm. "Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

She replies, "Ours is prettier."
__________________
 
You know what a sulky rake is.

You know what a feed bag is, and what it's used for.

You know the only place hotter than a corn field is in a barn loft while your stacking hay.

You've ever been noodlin, or snipe hunting.

You own a hat with a carbide light on top.

You've ever pulled weeds, and staked tomatoes in a garden.

You've ever churned butter.

You'ev ever picked polk greens for your supper.
 

EPC Guy

TQ Ambassador
Thanks for Bringing Back the Memories

Pappy:

I could probably recall every country and redneck joke I've ever heard - because they really crack me up; but I wanted to say thanks for making me stop to think about the things that make me who I am today...

I remember chopping firewood with an axe (we didn't own a chainsaw at the time) drawing water by hand from the well...and sometimes finding a thin layer of ice in the kitchen water buckets on winter mornings....heating water on a wood cookstove and filling a #3 washtub for baths...lucky for me I was the oldest child and got to go first!

Nothing better than my mother's cooking and homemade biscuits cooked on a wood cookstove!

Our "play area" was the woods and fields around our house...swimming in the creek and watching for water moccasins... but no one ever got hurt.

No electricity in our home...we used kerosene lamps...I still own one that is over 100 years old that used to belong to my great grandfather...no TV - we actually had to TALK to one another (imagine that!)

We grew our own fruits and vegetables, raised chickens and milk cows (and goats) and I don't recall EVER going without the things we actually NEEDED...

And, the most important life-shaping factors were a strong faith in God and a strong, loving supportive family...

Most of the people around us thought we were wierd...you have to keep in mind that the period of time I'm talking about was during the late 60's and throughout the 70's...(I'm only 46) But I know without a doubt that the person I am today, was shaped by how I was raised...I'm blessed beyond measure to make a fantastic living, I have a wonderful wife, two beautiful daughters and a handsome grandson...and I hope that I will pass on to them SOME of the good things from being a country boy!

Thanks for starting this thread!
 

PAPPY

Active Member
Thanks

THANKS for the Wonderful Post. Yes, I too remember those things and that is mostly the way that I try to live today. Those that were not raised with the good ole country way's sure missed out on a Lot in Life as far as I am concerned BUT they say that is progress. I some time wonder.
I know being raised that way made our Family grow and stay together and prosper. It's absolutely GREAT to have been raised the way we were and I would not have traded it for anything in the world.:bthumb:
 
You may me country if.........

....you remember grandma hollering out the back door "dinner's ready" to you and grandpa out across the plowed field. And when you start for the house, it's hard to keep up with him because him legs are long enough to walk on top of the furrows and my short legs would only hit the top about every 2nd step.

Al
 
EPC Guy; You, and Pappy are 110% right. Things may have been a little harder then, but I wouldn't take love nor money for those days. There is just no comparison in then, and now. When we were little, we played outside, not set and watch TV all day. When we got older, we worked out side, not played video games all day. We ate 3 good meals a day that Mama cooked, not fast food, and junk out of a bag. We had great parents that loved and wanted us. If we did good we got praised for it, but if we did wrong, we sure got a licking, and my Parents always made sure we knew what the licking was for. The two great sins we could commit was to lie, or steal. We respected our elders, and teachers and if we got a licking in school, it was because we deserved it, and we got another one when we got home. We said yes sir, and no mam, and we didn't wear a hat in the house.
Yea, things were a little harder then, but we didn't have drive by shootings, gangs in school, illegal drugs, under age drinking (unless we found out where Daddy's shine was hid) didn't have kids shooting up the schools, and the list goes on. A man's word was as good as gold, and his hand shake was as good as any legal paper drawned up by lawyers. We didn't air conditioning, but thay was o.k. because we could sleep at night with the doors, and windows open, and didn't worry about someone coming in. We knew all our neighbors, and we all helped out each other when needed. If a neighbor passed away, the other neighbors brought over more food than than could be eaten in a week.
The way things are today is called progress, but I have great doughts about that.
 

PAPPY

Active Member
Yes Sir !!!

Sure wish those day's could return but I'm afraid the way society is today it will never happen. That is the way I raised my family and that is the way my Son's are raising their famlies. At least they were able to see the light and know that is the best way to be raised. I still live as close to those day's that I possibly can and I will till the day they put me in the ground !:bthumb:
 
Growing Up In A Small Town....
>
> --It's SO true!!!!
>
> Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they
> read this. Those who didn't will be in disbelief.
>
> 1) You can name everyone you graduated with.
>
> 2) You know what 4-H means.
>
> 3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit,
> or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell
who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running
through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6)
>
> 4) You used to "drag" Main.
>
> 5) If you said the "F" word - your parents knew within the hour.
>
> 6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of
> different police officers,because you knew which ones would bust
you and which ones wouldn't.
>
> 7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store
> clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd
tell your parents anyhow.
>
> 8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave
> enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country
and drive on back roads to smoke them.
>
> 9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your
buyer dropped off.
>
> 10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
>
> 11) The whole school went to the same party after Graduation.
>
> 12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by
references.
> Turn right by Nelson's house, take the first left after
> that spot where Jimmy's Mom hit that cow, and it's two raods down
on the left by the airfield.
>
> 13) The golf course had only 9 holes.
>
> 14) You couldn't help but date a friend's exboyfriend/girlfriend.
>
> 15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads,
> and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
>
> 16) The town next to you was considered "trashy" or
> "snooty," but was actually just like your town.
>
> 17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1965
> as the "rich people."
>
> 18) The people in the "big city" dressed funny, and then you picked
up the trend 2 years later.
>
> 19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or
the town bar.
>
> 20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor
> through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school
occasionally.
>
> 21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the
> summer to get stronger.
>
> 22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.
>
> 23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5
> people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
>
> 24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.
>
> 25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
>
> 26) You could charge at any local store or write checks
> without any ID.
>
> 27) The closest McDonalds was 25 miles away (or more).
>
> 28) The closest mall was over an hour away.
>
> 29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town
> on a riding lawn mower.
>
> 30) You've pee'd in a cornfield.
>
> 31) Most people went by a nickname.
>
> 32) You laughed your butt off reading this because you
> know it is true,and you forward it to everyone who may have lived
in a small town.
>
> I would not have wanted to been raised any other way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Tough times don't last... Tough people do.....
>
>
>
>
 
you might be country if.....

...you use a beat up ford bronco to pull stumps out of the ground and haul them to the burn pile. Anyway, that's what I did today.
 
J

julieburger

Guest
You might be country if.. Your dogs need braces worse than the kids. LOVE the avatar Pappy.
 
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